Pick Who Picked You : Choose Who Choses You #TalkinOuttaTurn

Pick Who Picked You

You ever notice how a lot of us got our relationship education from 90s sitcoms and somehow ended up confused as hell in real life?

Nah, for real.

Those shows had us thinking the greatest love story was chasing somebody who ain't want you for 8 seasons straight. We watched dudes get rejected every week and somehow the lesson was "keep trying." Then we grew up wondering why we're exhausted, heartbroken, or stuck in relationships where we always gotta prove our value.

Let's talk about it.

Too many people ignore the person that actually chose them and spend all their energy chasing the person everybody else wants. It's like walking into the barbershop, seeing an empty chair with the best barber ready for you, but you wanna wait three hours for the celebrity barber because everybody else in line wants him too.

Make it make sense.

A lot of men do this. They overlook the woman that's showing genuine interest, supporting them, checking on them, believing in them, and instead chase the woman with a waiting list longer than DMV lines. Then when they finally get her, they realize they still competing. Why? Because she never really picked you. She settled on you for the moment.

And when somebody settles for you instead of choosing you, everything becomes harder than it needs to be.

Every argument feels like you're interviewing for the position again.

Every accomplishment feels like you're trying to earn points.

Every day feels like probation.

Now ladies, y'all not innocent either.

Some women get caught chasing the dude every woman in the borough wants. He got options stacked higher than a chopped cheese with extra meat. He ain't interested in her personality. He don't know her goals, her values, or her favorite song. He just likes what he sees and want to knock it down.

Then when a newer model walks past, suddenly his attention gone.

Why?

Because he didn't choose HER.

He chose the attention.

Let's go to the sitcom evidence.

Steve Urkel and Laura Winslow.

Steve loved Laura. Maybe too much, but that's another conversation.

The point is Steve was always there. Protecting her. Supporting her. Helping her grow. Showing consistency.

But Laura wanted Stefan.

Why?

Because Stefan had the sauce.

The confidence.

The look.

The popularity.

The version that everybody wanted.

Funny thing is she didn't make Stefan work nearly as hard as Steve did. That's how life goes sometimes. The person doing cartwheels to prove themselves gotta jump through ten hoops, while the person everybody wants gets handed the VIP pass.

Now let's flip it.

Steve had Myra.

Myra chose Steve from Day One.

Myra wasn't confused.

She wasn't playing hide-and-seek with her feelings.

She wasn't talking about "I'm not ready."

That woman was ready to marry Steve before she even graduated.

But Steve couldn't see it because he was too focused on Laura.

Then years later Laura starts seeing Steve differently.

And that's the question nobody asks:

Did Laura truly want Steve?

Or did Steve become more attractive because somebody else wanted him first?

We've seen this movie in real life a thousand times.

Nobody checks for you.

You get in a happy relationship.

Now everybody notices you.

Now the same people who ignored you suddenly posting eye emojis under your pictures.

Funny how that works.

Same thing happened with Roger on Sister, Sister. Half the time he was invisible until somebody else saw value in him. Then all of a sudden he was interesting.

Ain't that how life be?

The dude nobody wanted in January got options in June.

The woman nobody noticed in high school becomes successful, confident, and beautiful, and now everybody remembers her name.

People love pre-owned value.

Talkin Fact:

Some folks don't want you.

They want confirmation that other people want you.

Big difference.

That's why chasing validation is a losing game.

You know what's underrated?

Being with somebody whose eyes light up when you walk in the room.

Somebody who picks you without needing a committee vote.

Somebody who don't need social proof to see your value.

Because if they only want you after the crowd approves you, they never really wanted YOU.

They wanted the spotlight around you.

Moral of the story:

Stop confusing being chosen with being settled for.

Stop trying to convince people you're worthy.

Stop auditioning for roles in somebody else's life.

Pick the people that pick you.

Because relationships shouldn't feel like you're constantly campaigning for office.

If somebody gotta lose every option before they realize you're the prize, congratulations... you were the backup plan.

And nobody should volunteer to be Plan B when they can be somebody else's first choice.

🎤 Talkin' Outta Turn: What's worse, being rejected by somebody who never wanted you, or finding out somebody only wants you because everybody else does? Let the barbershop cook. 👀🔥